Thoughts: Round Ireland with a Fridge…Really!

The number one reason I admit I wanted to watch this movie would be for verification of its name.
I’ll admit I was confused…”Is the name the actual movie, like ‘Snakes on a Plane’ or ‘Anaconda’ or is it metaphorical like ‘Before the Devil Knows You are Dead’ or ‘Spirited Away’”
Of course 20 minutes in the movie you realize that the answer is the latter!!

RIWAF is a less heard of movie and was released around two years ago.
This is a comedy road trip based on Tony Hawke’s bestselling book in which Tony ends up accepting a drunken bet with his best friend to hitchhike around Ireland with a fridge as his companion. Tony is a stand-up comic and is having a tough time keeping up with his shows and is unable to find any real creativity in himself. He bombs on a show and much like the most of us goes to his closest friend for solace. Tony’s friend ends up challenging him to…yup you guessed it…travel around Ireland with a fridge. Under the influence of alcohol Tony ends up accepting the drunken bet of a £100 and sets of with his unusual travelling companion.

The film recreates Tony’s actual 1997 journey around Ireland as he re-evaluated his life and career, found romance in the form of Roisin (the beautiful Valarie O Connor, who does a decent job as the love interest in the movie), met a wide range of bizarre characters such as the philosophical toiletries salesman (Sean Hughes), a radio DJ Dayle (Ed Byrne) who makes it his personal mandate to update listeners of the show about Tony’s current whereabouts, made many new friends and discovered that people are perfectly prepared to treat a small white domestic appliance as though it was a fully fledged person with a personality in its own right. Tony due to his weird trip becomes a sort of semi-famous celebrity where people all over recognize him with his mini fridge. Tony realizes that people are more than willing to accept the fridge and due to this the fridge is taken surfing, christened, blessed by nuns, accompanied by a bagpiper, taken to a bachelor festival and also becomes the hero of a national radio station. The fridge pretty much gains an identity of its own and to Tony’s bewilderment people believe it represents a lot more than just a domestic appliance.

Of course all this is just something that holds the movie together for basic viewing for the premise lies underneath, of a disillusioned personality whose career has stalled and who refuses to believe it. Tony in the movie seems to be searching for the answers to questions he doesn’t know and in a search for both he tries to rediscover himself and his drive. The fridge acts as a companion and a persona for his own self whom he is now able to “confront” and “talk to”. The movie is heartwarming in parts and at parts just downright dumb. It’s whimsically funny, rather than hilarious and much of the laughs are expected to come from the visual ridiculousness of the situations rather than any sharp dialogue.

The movie is based on the book and the most exciting part of it is the fact that it is based on a true story of Tony Hawke himself. I haven’t had the pleasure of reading the book so I shall refrain from comparing it and talk about just the movie per se.

Tony Hawk does a brilliant job (but then it is HIS life story), the rest of the cast are mostly riff-raff and something where I feel they could put more effort with and might have been done more justice with in the book. The romantic interest, the radio jockey, the lads from the pub, the one night stand, the truck driver, the hotel lady and a horde of other people in the movie are those who I feel would have made the book a success and they all seem to be poorly defined in the movie. There seems to be a distinct lack of character development in the premise of the movie and I feel that there was more pressure to keep the movie short rather than story based.

Having said that, the major selling proposition of the movie was its ability to keep the humor subtle and light and the story sort of flows on. There are numerous ways the movie could be made much better but since it wasn’t I guess it is something most of us can watch just once to check the scenic shots of Ireland, the concept in its entirety and probably force us to read the book. Overall though, an enjoyable and well made film which, whilst it may not make you laugh out loud, is an enjoyable watch. 

Thoughts: A dismal abyss

Deep, dark and desolate.

The lurking of fear and the stench of failure.

You try and vie but are tangled in a web you sew.

Quicksand!!

You sink and struggle to keep your head above.

You plunge further, Your hands reach for the welkin.

The night laughs, for,

You belong to her.

The dark abysmal abyss beckons,

Reason, logic and hope all abandon the time in need,

An eternity of solitude coaxing.

A look yonder, a last fleeting glimpse,

Of life and love and glory passing by.

Life travelling at the speed of light,

Glory too arrogant to stop by and help

But love?

Love looks and sees the distress,

She stops to divert and floats through the treacherous terrain

But then she is too far…too frail to help.

She smiles and says “It’s going to be ok”

And she sits by the quicksand…..

Serenading the weary,

Serenading the lonely,

Serenading the dying,

Singing of better days,

Signing of smiling days,

Smiling with the warmth of the sun.

And then beneath the dark desolate moonlit sky,

He lets go…

Knowing it will be ok,

Knowing he would surely lay

His head in a better place.

Thoughts: Housefull is full….of Nothing

Could a movie be sillier? Could it be dumber? Could the movie be responsible for people ending up stupider than they were when they entered the hall? Could grey cells actually leave in the midst of a song?

Probably not, but I hope Sajid Khan and Sajid Nadiadwala do not take this as a challenge to create something this epic at an even further dumbed down version for I believe if movies got dumber than this we might as well start throwing our feces at each other.

I will now attempt to tell you a “brief” about the story.

Two fathers hate each other, so do their entire families. They want their daughters to get married to the “richest and best” man in UK so that they can hate each other even more and rub it in the other one’s face. One of them mocks a prospect groom’s dad, he (the dad) ends up in the ICU with a heart attack due to that. The “Groom-to-be” (we shall now refer to him as GTB) vows revenge, hires Con-Man No 1 (Now referred as CM1). CM1 goes to wrong house, falls for wrong girl. GTB is not deterred and hires another con man, CM2 (who is also the enemy of CM1) goes to right house, falls in love with right girl. Of course both ConMen come with the SAME story of being the son of the SAME man and both the families who are about to give their daughters to these men haven’t the slightest clue about this. (Fucking Father of the Year Award nominees…Right?)

Anyway GTB now ends up realizing that his background story doesn’t hold well cause the con men story start to overlap. The story has a hole since the con men both claim that their father is an old man with a gun who was once a dacoit and is now the richest man in UK. (Another Father of the Year nominee! The guys here might as well get their kids married to the Yakuza clan!). Throw in a police officer who ALSO wants HIS daughter to get married to that dacoit’s son (throw another name in the mix of Father of the Year). The actual son though loves another girl who is an obese wannabe porn star and the police officer’s daughter loves another guy who ends up being the prospective “Groom-to-be” from where this story originated. They all end up marrying each other.

(deep breath)

And if you think THIS is complicated, it gets worse. Add hammy acting, sad songs, pitiable dialogues, a clown dressed in what can only be described as ice cream colors and I would have an easier time explaining the time space continuum rather than what the directors were trying to showcase in the movie.

As far as the cast goes, the only person who stands out in this role as if it is his second skin is Akshay Kumar. The role of Sunny suits him like a James Bond suit, whereas the rest of them look like they are wearing an underwear one size smaller than they should. John Abraham may be lifting dumbbells, bikes, trucks, tanks, buildings etc but he wouldn’t know acting if it bit him in the face. The time isn’t too far when he starts with doing item numbers only. The remaining men (snigger snigger) of Shreyas Talpade and Ritesh Deshmukh are only in the movie to get bit on their crotch and their butt respectively and I doubt they had any other significant scene in this movie. Rishi Kapoor and Randhir Kapoor make me feel sad and might be the reasons the Brits don’t want us their nation anymore. Moreover if the Italians saw Chunky Pandey I am sure they would follow suit and bar us from their nation as well.

The women in the movie are perfectly suited for their roles; No dialogues, just wear skimpy clothes and act like they are serious. They are all gorgeous on screen, except Asin who looks a pale shade of what Jacqueline Fernandez left over from her make-up. Asin and acting are parallel lines, not in the essence that they would be together forever, but in the fact that she would never learn acting and neither will acting touch her with a pole. She could be more irritating but then the movie would have her bald, beefed up and searching for the people who raped and killed her career. Of the other women only Jacqueline Fernandez is worth a mention and to be honest it is only because she looked by far the best of the lot. Zarine Khan as the wannabe porn star and the fourth girl who barely has three lines in the movie were just there for show of skin. They might as well have been part of the background and blended in with it.

The storyline is tough to follow as mentioned above, the direction is….well …its been directed, so that’s all you can say about that. The dialogues sound like something a 10 year old might spew out. Overall though, the movie is technically well made (aka background music, editing, cinematography etc ) and probably one of the saving grace parts in it.

But then despite all my writing and raving and ranting of

“People of This World!! Please spare yourself the numbness, the dumbness and the sheer stupendity of the stupidity that is this movie…go home and read a book!”

this movie will be a hit. It will rake in the millions due to people enjoying the brainless humor.

To end on the note, a hit movie is definitely not a good movie (vice versa follows suit) and this movie is not for the ones who watch films for art, its more for those who just want to sit in a hall, chomp pop corn and snigger at stupidity. Watch it at your own risk!

Thoughts: Time And Her Mystery

The definition of time, we weigh,

We digress, for time holds no clout on us all,

From the high of its peak,

To the valley down the trough.

From the King of Atlantis and Shangri –La.

To the Empire of dust and bones and all that it bears,

Time hastens by, to borrow the phrase,

When we are busy making other plans.

 

People come and they go, some approbate,

Some so different they circulate.

But for a precious few you hold on to.

And yet exiguous years down the line,

To blink and stupor

“Who were they and Why were they here?”

Life remains, but a fleeting glimpse.

Those who catch it, scruff it,

Those who let it go, remain vagabond

 

Such a brittle thought,

Such a delicate flower.

It picks up the subtle and pommels on the hard.

The words obviate from thoughts,

They flee for being put under one roof.

A reason to be adjudged as a thinker…..

A road less travelled by a greater half of this planet.

 

Time flies on,

Its gets higher as life moves.

The want to see a bird’s eye view,

Increases, for experience plays as wind.

Age plays its role as the wings

And you go soaring high

People no smaller than ants

To blink and wonder

“Who were they and Why were they here?”

Thoughts: Words cannot describe The Artist

The Artist is so behind its time that it is actually ahead.

In a land where big budget films draw audiences, where the cinematography (Lord of the Rings), the sound effects (Hurt Locker) the animation and special effects (Avatar) win awards, The Artist has transcended all boundaries and bought us back to a simpler time. With simple gestures and small one-liners to let the audience know what they are doing on the big screen The Artist has managed to capture the essence of what “acting” really is.

What holds the movie together is the story; the story of one man, George Valentin.  George Valentin (Jean Dujardin) is the king of silent movies in Hollywood in 1927. Audiences just adore him, women swoon over him and men want to be like him. George is on top of the Hollywood kingdom and to add to it he is a charming persona, pretty much the perfect idol. Along comes Peppy Miller (Bérénice Bejo), she steals a kiss from our lead on the red carpet and overnight becomes someone who is destined to be the next big thing. Peppy starts work on her first movie with George and she ends up falling for him. Of course simultaneously she also wants to be a huge star some day. George and Peppy work together on one film and George not only takes her under his wing, but an undeniable spark also develops between the two.

Sadly, pictures with sound are introduced and George is asked to start working in those. But with the huge ego he has, George ridicules the whole concept and disregards movies with sounds as ‘silly’.  Over the course of the next few years, silent movies fade into obscurity as talking pictures or “talkies” explode onto the scene. And George, due to his adamant nature finds himself struggling for not only work, but a purpose to live as Peppy jumps at the chance to work in the ‘talkies’ and becomes the next big thing overnight.

The movie has a lot of high notes and the highest one of them is Jean Dujardin. Jean leads the movie from start to the finish and is par excellence in his portrayal of a man who experiences the heights of stardom and all the way to the abyss of it. A special mention must go for the dog Jack who really is the biggest form of comic relief in the film. The way he plays dead and covers his head with his paws is really cute and the relationship between George and Jack is tender and poignant, absolutely heartwarming. The relationship is even closer than the one George and Peppy share.  Bérénice Bejo is the romantic twist in the movie and she too does a brilliant job in her role as the love struck yet strong lead woman. The romantic angle is brilliantly shot for although it is apparent that they both love each other, the lead stars never even share one kiss in the movie! Such is the beauty of a silent movie, that all they need to showcase their feelings are just expressions and emotions…no words, no song and dance, just a look of longing in their eyes.

The concept of a silent movie in the current world where dialogues and background music help define the mood of the movie should be utterridiculous. But despite all stereotypes, the movie exceeds expectations….the laughs are there, the charms are there, The Artist has a firm grip on your heart and your attention and never really lets it go during the course of its run time. The faces of the lead actors keep you glued and actually steal the scene.

For those who love movies, who pursue it relentlessly, who just watch movies because they just like to, The Artist is not something you can afford to miss. It’s a sad state of affairs that people get turned off by the theory of a black and white movie with no dialogues, but if you can open your mind and allow a little bit of creativity in yourself, you should definitely watch this movie and rest assured you will fall in love with it. It’s clearly a product of a thinking director, where everything in the scene has a story to tell and just like real life, the movie ends beautifully with a song and dance. I would recommend each and every one of you to go ahead and watch this one; it’s something you really shouldn’t miss

Thoughts: Thoughts!

The definition of living, it varies,

From the loft of its peak,

To the valley down the trough,

From the King of Atlantis and Shangri –La,

To the Empire of dust and all that it bears.

 

Such a brittle thought,

Such a delicate flower,

It picks up the subtle and drops on the hard,

It needs a new direction,

It needs to glide on a path,

To carve its niche,

All it needs is to make the start.

 

For we are but travelers in space,

Moving along…..

Aimlessly and misdirected more often.

Grasping, checking, choking and tugging,

Looking for the ledge,

Pushing up the edge,

Standing still, and climbing again.

 

‘Life is but a dream’, thus we row on,

But dreams are for those who sleep,

Yet we remain bug eyed awake,

Trying to grasp a meaning,

To grasp solace in solitude,

To grasp straws in our clutches,

Where it be easier……

To just let it go…to just let it flow

Thoughts : Hugo is Huge

Martin Scorsese has pulled out yet another masterpiece. Hugo has all the elements that are needed to make a movie and it all blends perfectly well on the screen.

Scorsese has managed to capture the elements of cinema in a near poetic manner and with the backdrop of a picturesque Paris coupled with the childlike innocence in fantasy and the small element of mystery, has created a movie fit for all age groups. Albeit the element of fantasy and magic is a little less than what is projected initially, the movie over its course holds the audience’s attention.

The movie story is a tad elaborate. It’s the 1930’s and Hugo Cabret (Asa Butterfield, who from the looks of it was in the movie only for his blue eyes) is an orphan living in the Paris train station. After his father (Jude Law, who was in the movie only for a brief cameo) who fixes clocks and other gadgets dies in a fire, Hugo is taken in by his drunk uncle who fixes the clocks in the Paris railway station where Hugo is asked to quit school and start work.

There is only one thing though that Hugo wants to fix and that is an automaton (a weird looking robot) that his father left him. For the proper functioning of the robot though, Hugo needs a key which he finds tied around the neck of the adventure-seeking Isabelle (Chloe Grace Moretz, who I have begun to ADORE since her role in Kick Ass!!) Isabelle’s grand-father is the grouchy George Meilies (the ever tasteful and brilliant Ben Kingsley) and upon further embarking on his adventure Hugo finds the unique connection between George, the robot, his father and the word “film making”. Of course Hugo would need to do all this with the Station Inspector (Sasha Cohen Baron, who is interesting in a role much different from what he usually does), who’s main job is to catch all the orphans living in the station and send them to the orphanage, snapping at his heels.
Will he find out the mystery? What is the connection? Will the Inspector catch him? Watch it to find out

Tastes albeit differ and Hugo is not for everyone. Some people would find this movie really slow and boring which would make it unable for them to be able to view the movie for what it is and others would see this movie for the way it was made and they way it transcends into the mesmerizing story it depicts and they would be the ones who really enjoy it.

The movie’s selling proposition is the visuals. The train station, the Paris cityscape, the snowy weather and the effects as such just add to the grandeur of the movie. The actors have had their good and bad moments. At times the emotions and dialogues are real and you feel as a part of them, but then there are times in the movie when it just seems a tad hammed up.

The movie’s pace though is where is sort of looses a little bit of steam. The start is interesting enough and sets you up for an interesting climax, but then in the middle the pace drops, starts up again, drops again and somehow labors towards the end. The plot of the movie is a tad elongated and thus it loses a few points from its perfection. Scorsese would have done well had he cut short a few scenes and due to this it seems that the movie is a little below par.

But if you can forgive the tiny flaws, its slow pace and a fade in and fade out plot most of us would really enjoy Hugo. It’s an inspired film history lesson along side of being a dreamlike children’s fable. Martin Scorsese has finally made a movie without violence, gang wars, gun shots, tension and has dipped his finger in children’s fantasy. Everything about the movie speaks of love of cinema and Scorsese has managed to showcase his love for it via this masterpiece.

Based on a famous children’s book “The Invention of Hugo Cabret” by Brian Selznick, Scorsese has done well to keep the element of fantasy and mystery coupled and not lose a lot from the essence of the story. The movie holds it together (apart from the pace) and might not have gotten the Oscar and might not be in the same league as Goodfellas, Taxi Driver or even Raging Bull but it is definitely beautifully made and well worth a watch.