Thought: Why Don’t You Love Me too!

I am quite delighted that most of my readers loved the last article (Ref: Why Dont You Love Me). I think I have found my true calling (Cue Braveheart theme song). Men and women need guidance in this ridiculous world of dating, meeting, sleeping and yes talking to each other. Let me be your guiding light, let me be your shining star and let me help you navigate these treacherous waters.

The last post talked about how women can find men and what they need to do to “Keep it Real”. Just to ensure that this isn’t a one sided conversation and I am not speaking like a sexist pig, I shall be unbiased and pure in my suggestions/recommendations to all. Thus, here is my next set of thoughts, solely for men.

How to get picked up by women

Tip1: As is with women, the same goes with men. As per the latest reports you are to look like Ryan Gosling or some Channing Tatum guy with a physique of either one. Stop eating the damn cheese. Women aren’t as shallow, but looking like the guys above raises your chances significantly and the odds will be forever in your favor. (Yes I borrowed that phrase too)

Tip2: Don’t fart! Don’t belch the alphabet.  Don’t scratch our butt, your groin or any other part of your body in public. Comb you hair and wash your face. Let’s call these basics, most of you outside look like you have been run over by a lawnmower cause your clothes look like you lost a bet with the homeless guy who lives below your building. A majority seem have never seen the front end of a shower with that miraculous element called water dropping from it. I don’t go to the extent of saying “suit up”, but lets pull up those jeans and comb the hair. Shaving works well too, unless you look like Gerard Butler.

For those of my male counterparts who haven’t agreed with this, its ok, there is still hope for you. (Yes women have lowered their standards as evolution as gone on, I am shocked about it myself)

Tip 3: Under the assumption that you have done the above two and now look presentable we move on to the more intangible aspects. Be funny! Humor is a trait much desired and less distributed. If she laughs when you talk it’s a plus sign. Women love to laugh, actually even men love to laugh (so do dogs and cats but lets not get there). Be witty, read a book now and then and try to listen to what she says so have something more appropriate to reply to than ‘cool’.

That’s IT!

Yes I know it is less, it’s shockingly less, but what can I say…women have really let go. They have dropped their standards, dropped it low (sigh…oh so low) and they are ready to go out with anyone who can walk straight, not spit on her when he talks and knows English. Evolution has a funny way to presenting itself. Most of you on the street make the apes we evolved from seem more polished and Charles Darwin would incessantly turn in his grave if he saw you guys.

Anyway, as mentioned previously, hate the game folks, don’t hate the player.

 

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