Thoughts: India and the Olympics

Firstly I know it’s late to moan about it, but I really don’t care. Saying something a little later than usual doesn’t make it less true does it?

We sent out largest contingent till date to the Olympics and were actually hoping for a decent showing, this brings me to the next question. “Was it a decent showing?”

6 medals, lotsa bronze and a couple of silver, we ended up on the 36th position (if I remember correctly) between Croatia and Turkey.

I am still waiting for someone to say “Indian origin athletes have won xyz gold medals” and then the newspaper would do a full page story about someone who’s great grandfather ran to US/UK/Aus/France or some other country on a ship as a stowaway and then raped a woman in that country, had a love child with some maid there and their child also married there and had yet another child who (although wouldn’t be able to point out Delhi in a map of the subcontinent) would be “Indian at heart” & would “dream to visit his/her homeland someday soon”. (Its all possible people)

Now I am still impressed with the showing (which talks a lot about the expectations that have been set) but then there were a lot of issues over the two weeks. Starting with;

Deepika Kumari lost in her first round (for those less familiar she participated in archery). She is the World Number 1, which by definition means the best archer in the world which to make it EVEN simpler implies that she too could shoot an apple of a kid’s head. Sadly what we saw in the tournament was that the kid would have been beheaded and she couldn’t hit water from a boat. What is worse is that the dumb bitch would have been laughing at the end of it.

Poor thing you say??Why should I spare her?

That dumbass didn’t even care she lost! Which other athlete laughs when they miss and score a 6? And that too when she is facing some world number 37!!

Stress?? Nervousness of the competition you say?

If she cant handle the stress then what is she doing in the Olympics?? Where else are these people supposed to play? Aren’t the Olympics the place where you show off? What is the use of being the World Number 1 and then pissing on yourself when the time comes to perform. She looks ugly enough to scare the dead and based solely on her looks she seems likes someone who should live under a bridge. The point being, she is not going to get any advertisements or I doubt anyone wants her to be the face of their brand. And her major source of income would be…believe it or not…the government. The government is giving 1 crore to athletes winning a damn BRONZE medal!

So if she kept THAT in mind she should have had AT LEAST a bronze!

Dumb whore

 

Coming to the next wonderful performance of the tennis “greats”, Bhupati and Bopanna. Our two “best doubles pairing” (as stated by Bhupathi) . The creeps fought like idiots with Paes (ironically the only one to have won an Olympics medal) and for all their screaming and moaning, ended up losing in the 2nd round.

Bopanna should have honestly just shut up and let the strongest team go, but I assume he just likes being a dummy with a finger up his butt. I could have sworn Bopanna practiced his ventriloquism on him. For all the fights, all the stupidity, all the dumbasses they behaved like they lost to a team in 2nd round.

Kudos….

 

Next comes out national sport…hockey!!

New Zealand beat us in hockey!! We ran hard against the Dutch and then we were like more on the lines of a tired mongoose. That team seemed less like a New Zealand team and more like the Aussie convicts who were sent to an island. So in effect it is the Australian B team playing against us. Based on the performance in the last event I need to ask this, “Would we be able to challenge Australia’s under 16 girls team?”

I mean we played really well against Holland so a loss there isn’t that embarrassing, because well…..they are faster, stronger, fitter, taller, better and we are lucky we don’t have pot bellies. So even us making a match of that is a good thing. (Just another example of how low my expectations have been set)

But New Zealand??? I mean those buggers have rugby! So hockey is as close as snooker to them!

For them this must be like a billiards game! I could swear some of their sticks had erasers near the handle and in our hands the sticks are big. (Pretty much why we use it to beat people up)

The average height there is about 6’4 that means about two of you reading this post.

They are prisoners there, banished there you say?? Well than does that make us the ones who preferred to be slaves?

 

We should change the sport we invented, it cant be hockey any more.

Could probably be “Quick catch and rape”? or “Let’s do your taxes”? or “Who can open a kirana store the fastest?”

 

For those arguing about cricket, here are some facts ,

We are 5th in test matches, we are number 3 in ODI having played almost double the number of matches from the second place team. And we are 4th in T20s.

So yea, pretty much means one bronze for us here too.

 

Now I have gone up with  lot of ranting and raving, Here is the solution

Crowd them out!!

We are good in crowds!! Trains, buses, rapes, strikes, etc.  Everything is done in a group. So I think to even things out, we should b allowed to play with 15 players. I mean we have always claimed our population is our strength, so we should b allowed to use it!

15 players in hockey and 15 in football also, basketball would have 8 and so on.

The US has a lot of space and so does Jamaica, whereas here we could run 100 mtrs without having a guy come in the way. Thus it isn’t our fault we can never measure our real speed in a 100 mtrs. We can’t throw a shot put to 70 mtrs without it landing on someone, we cant …..you get the drift, population is a curse.

Thus we should be allowed to do something which would even the playing field. Since we have a lot more people, we should be allowed to send a lot more people to the ground. Fair no??

 

Anyway having said all this, it does seem like a rant, but it is more of me being disappointed with our results and something which I feel we could do a lot better in the future. Hopefully its taken in the same sense. 

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