Thoughts: 5 things I learnt in STORM

I recently had the pleasure of going to one of the first ever outdoor camping music festival. It was made on the lines of Woodstock (minus the drugs and the international rock bands, yup the cheap “cleansed” Indian cultured version). To be honest I was pleasantly surprised by the entire outcome. Decent music, food was ok, there was beer to drink and of course the “chicas”!!

Having said all that, here are a few things I learnt on my first ever outdoor music festival.

1. Shades make all women hot

Yes they do….for some reason all women were wearing big brown/black color shades and ALL of them looked really hot. (It has probably been awhile for me, but I still state I can differentiate between an UGO and a HOTTIE)

50% of the women there were all dressed to kill (biker chick looks) and had this huge bumble bee kinda shades on themselves either to cover themselves from the sun or were looking for their seeing eye dog (aka boyfriend). But having said that, 95% of those 50% were all worth it!

PS: in case you are wondering about the remaining 5%, you REALLY are desperate!!

2. No one can resist EDM

It’s true. You can be a rock head, a death metal head or even a nursery rhyme star; you will HAVE to love EDM. It is impossible to not ‘bop’ your head to it. The music is catchy, the beats are loud and defined and a few drinks down, EDM sounds like music to jump in the sack with. Women dance like there is no tomorrow, men dance looking at the women with a hope for tonight and the rest…well we don’t really care about them do we!

Electronic Dance Music is the latest fad/trend in the music business and the “dop…dop..dop…deenchak….dop…dop…dop…deenchak” (yes yes I know it’s not how it exactly sounds, but you get the drift!) is the best music currently and you are either insane or lame if you can’t like that music!

3. Indie rock had hope

It was the first time I have ever heard Indie rock up close and personal. Despite the hordes of mallu, kannada, tambi, bong and EVEN SANSKRIT rocks groups, it was pleasing to say that they really do know their instruments. (Except the Sanskrit band, cause I didn’t know whether to listen to them or throw flowers are them whilst simultaneously running a fire around their face…they were just weird!)

The rock music was fun, the artists were small in general thus more friendlily and the overall aura of the scene was somehow positive. Just makes me feel that despite the crap that passes off for music in Bollywood, there are at least some people who know music in its better form

4. Hot pants do not suit you all

Big eyed goggles aside, an interesting point to note was that all the ladies were dressed in hot pants.

Now for those less informed hot pants are just like pants but only shorter and women wear them when it is hot so that they can LOOK hot. But despite their best attempts most of the women wearing hot pants looked like potato sacks which needed to be tied…..They looked like a football filled with too much air, so much so that the stitches start to rip…. You could swear there were screams of threads everywhere near their butts screaming “pakade rehna..chodna nahi….pakade rehna…choda nahi”…..they were so fat  that people took shade UNDER them…..the hot pants looked so bad that even baboons were falling off trees laughing saying “Bitches be loco yo!”…they were so fat….you get the drift don’t you?

Hot pants don’t suit all of you!!!

5. Firangs party harder, Indians party faster

Now of course there was a healthy mix of culture in the place, few firangs and a horde of Indians. I kid you not….the SECOND the alcohol truck rolled in we guys (and I am HONESTLY not being racist) ran to it like it was the damn water truck on Dharawi. The first truck load of beer was washed away by most of us doing “bottom’s up” and thus inevitably within 2 odd hours, most men guys were on the ground with their bottoms’ facing up. The firangs now on the other hand sipped the beer as if it was tea and then sat down to really enjoy “Woodstock” .They obviously lasted way longer than most and drank well into the evening. We Indians though get drunk quickly and seemed more interested in checking out what the women were wearing (hot pants) than the music.

Either way, that being said, I do not mean any disrespect to anyone and these are of course personal views and opinions, I might be wrong and I might be on the mark. Rest assured it’s all just an observation. Will try and go out more to see more people and read them differently. 🙂


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