Thoughts: BAD BAD BAD Teacher!! Really BAD

Could the movie be worse??

Yes! We could have had Poonam Pandey doing Cameron Diaz’s role.

All throughout the movie Ms Cameron Diaz looked each of her 40 years on Earth. She looked like the Dev Anand of Hollywood…an old wrinkled person with the lead role and romancing another of the opposite gender who if had not read the script would have probably called Cameron Diaz “Mommy!!”

With all due respect, Cameron Diaz was one of the hottest things in planet Hollywood, but then I was in High School then still getting boners for no rhyme or reason and now she seems old enough to give Hema Malini a run for her money. So why in God’s name would she ever want to do some movie like this!! From a list of movies like There’s something about Mary, Any given Sunday, My Best Friend’s Wedding and Gangs of New York…why would she go ahead and sign up for something that seems like a the by product of a horny writer and an ex porn film director.

The premise of the movie is as laughable as the acting itself and is about a gold digger Elizabeth Halsey (Ms Diaz) who gets dumped by her “fiancé” when he finds out she is only in it for his money. To make ends meet and pay for her drug abuse, she ends up going back to the school she had decided to quit after one year. She isn’t too thrilled about it, the children less and the audience morose!

Enter the cute looking new substitute teacher, Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake, who does give a decent account of himself as the rich-geeky-lame- dry humping-weirdo substitute teacher). Upon realizing that she’s hit the jackpot since he belongs to the La Coutre (the famous watch makers!) clan she decides to woo him! More of her Nancy Drew like inspection helps her find out that his last girlfriend was one of the Hooters type (big knockers), she would thus need a similar pair to grab his attention (Snore!). She then goes back to the school to raise the money for her tit job and blah blah blah! Zzzzzzz

Apart from Ms. Diaz’s amazing body which is on display throughout the movie, the minute she opens her mouth we snap out of the trance and begin to curse our luck for having to watch an audacity where a woman old enough to be an Air India air hostess begins to woo a kid who probably was wearing diapers when she smoked her first doobie!

Anyway on the bright side, a few credits where there are due…like Jason Seigel who acts as the mild mannered gym teacher Mr. Russell Gettis, who I guess does the role of being ‘pussy-whipped’ very well  and thus continues his role from HIMYM to this movie without a hiccup. Thus for eventually being the good guy the writers decide to punish him and he ends up with Ms Diaz. (Ta-Da…Happy Ending!! Yes it’s a spoiler, but if you really think that was a shocker stop reading this and go watch the movie, it’s probably made for people like you anyway!)

The rest of the riff raff come and go and the only other notable person in the movie is Lucy Punch who acts as Ms Amy Squirrel, the over enthusiastic, dead serious about her job and more importantly Ms.  Diaz’s arch nemesis and ends up with egg on her face. Her role might well have been done better by a squirrel anyway!

The movie lacks way too many things and to be really honest, the money pumped into this movie might well have been put to better use….by paying for Charlie Sheen’s hookers or his drugs for instance! Spare yourself the torture.


5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by hobbes on September 14, 2011 at 5:54 PM

    phanny prateek..very phanny!!


  2. Posted by Alen on September 14, 2011 at 9:56 PM

    Don’t tell me you saw this in theatre


  3. Posted by Alen on September 14, 2011 at 9:56 PM

    Don’t tell me you saw this in theater


  4. heheehehehe…..i will still go watch it …. curiosity sake… hehehehe


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