Thoughts: Aliens and Cowboys…Ooh Boy! *facepalm*

What not to like in this movie….

Cowboys…Brokeback Mountain, The Quick and the Dead, Good, Bad and the Ugly…all had cowboys  and all were great movies!

Aliens…Independence Day, Alien, Species and Predator…all had aliens trying to kill us and all were great movies!

Few hot women, action, funny one liners…..check

So what could go wrong?

Hmm…I think it’s the fact that when you mix, all of these together, it just doesn’t make sense.

The movie in short could be best described as James Bond teaming up with Indiana Jones to defeat Rango!

The movie starts with Jake Lonergan (Daniel Craig…Oh, I agree you weren’t the best James Bond but you really should start reading movie scripts before you accept the offer to do them! I hope you see this movie and place it under Flashbacks of a Fool someday) waking up in the middle of the desert, wearing a strange bracelet, with no recollection of how, why, what, where and who he is. He stumbles in a town, where they arrest him for murder and robbery.

The town is run by Col. Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford, who I really think did the movie only to be able to relive his Indiana Jones days). Once in the town, the entire cast is introduced.  Once that is done, ALIENS ATTACK (aaaaahhhh…women’s scream…everybody paaaaniiic!!) The aliens capture all the extras in the starting 15 minutes of the movie (I assume this would be a cost cutting to remove all those who really were paid by the hour on the sets). In the midst of the attacking and picking up the guys from the town, they end up kidnapping the Colonel’s son. It is NOW when Jake realizes that the bracelet on his hand is a weapon which can bring down the aliens. So once the aliens realize that, they run away and these guys then set out to bring back all the captured townsfolk.

Now in all honesty, what would be the first thing if you come across an alien?? Call the government…..the NSA/CIA/ FBI /NASA/ Fox Mulder and Dana Scully… Right? But do they do that here??? Noooooooo siree. Here they throw caution to the wind and decide..

“Tally ho men! Let’s take our spears and pitch forks and cattle branding rods and burn them back to hell. (aargh) We can’t shoot them quick enough, but let’s scare them with our stupidity! (face palm)”

Moving along with the story….During the alien attack on the town, Jake manages to bring one alien spaceship down. The alien then starts running away and the hunter becomes the hunted! Throw in a few Indians, a few more cowboys and some more alien attacks, we get the story. Won’t get into the details cause honestly it really doesn’t account for much.

Cowboys & Aliens took five screenwriters and four credited story writers to make one of the stupidest movies of all time. You actually end up rooting for the aliens in the midst of all of it. The reasons for half a dozen things in the movie were not answered (why are the aliens there, why do they mine for gold, why are they really capturing so many of us, WHY DID I PAY FOR THIS?) and I really hope they don’t make a sequel to answer the same.

Yea, sadly I expected a whole lot more from this movie, but it leaves you with a feeling of grabbing the bracelet of Craig’s hand and shooting the writers with it. The movie lacks ….well pretty much everything. Although the star cast is decent I really doubt it would be enough to call people to watch it themselves

As the lady says “You have to stop thinking”


One response to this post.

  1. agreeeeeeeeeeeeed! the movie is borderline ridiculous… they should have marketed it as a spoof! a loner called Lonergan a greedy guy called Dolarhyde… its a brilliant spoof!

    wham! bham! and there goes an alien… with one gun, one guy, one super sexy alien!

    accept Hollywood is flicking ideas from Rajni!


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