Thoughts: You know what i hate …… in sports!

Arsene Wenger

Grow the fuck up….bazillion years as coach for a top notch team and you have squat too show for it. You were lucky with T. Henry, but honestly you are an idiot if you STILL don’t get it….you suck, and no it is not the pitch, not the referee, not the stadium lights blinding your players, not the cute ball kids all around the pitch that arouse you and not the damn dog staring weirdly at you from across the street. It is you….only you.

Personally I prefer Arsenal over Chelshits and I would rather have Arsenal win the Cup than them cause really I can’t imagine an uglier looking team (Drogba, Anelka, Kalou etc names that sound like the way the guys look) holding the trophy if Utd don’t get it, because apart from cute choir boys in your team…RVP, Nasri, Wihlsher who really seem they were all molested by you in the ‘dugout’ I doubt you have any player of Henry’s capability who can actually ensure you win something. You need to wake up and smell the shit hitting the ceiling, cause if you STILL feel you deserve the title with those toddlers you really are dumb, you would have more luck catching the roadrunner!

Cricket

Stop it…enough already!

World Cup, T-20 World Cup, IPL, backyard cricket, bathroom cricket, book cricket…it is all too much. You can’t shove it down my throat and I refuse to be sucked into it. People are now clawing their eyes out whenever they see another six or a wicket. I am sick of the fat lards that call themselves cricketers… Malinga and Zaheer Khan look pregnant enough to take a maternity leave and don’t even get me started on Ramesh Powar….. someone who ate the entire buffet at a Mallya’s after party. We won the World Cup and honestly that is what counts, we beat the 4 other nations and are now champions of the World. The stands are empty and Sachin made his century, he isn’t going to do it day in and day out. Add to that the damn team names are a friggin joke…. really you guys spent billions and can’t come up with decent names??

Golf

It is not a sport, it never is, never was.

I believe it originated in Scotland where old men would go on walks with their walking sticks (to fend off dogs) and then started hitting stones whilst walking. After putting a few stones in the well nearby, the old men decided to reduce the size of the well and replace it with a gopher hole. Realizing the enormous potential of the ‘game’ and it sure as hell beat playing dungeons and dragons indoors all day with his grandson, the old men coined golf = go + oh fuck!

Golf is so boring that there are times when the commentators fall asleep whilst talking about it.

Commentator: “Oh what a brilliant shot, it nearly reached the hole. It’s the 4th time he has hit it and he is now closer than he was earlier….he is now about to putt (yes it’s a term in golf, it’s a misspelling for ‘put’), let’s be very very quiet and hear the grass grow while the ‘player’ tries to figure out where exactly are the tectonic plates under the Earth’s crust and how would that effect his shot! Zzzzzzzzzzz

If golf is a sport I recommend we move Carrom and Ludo championships to the Olympic committee.

F1/NASCAR

If golf is not a sport there is no chance in hell Formula One ever could be. It’s a guy filled with road rage, sitting in a car and driving it, round and round and round. No talent, no energy required, just hit the gas and then steer. There is more effort in waking up each day than what these guys do sitting in cars. More than the drivers it’s the car that does the work; the drivers are as useful as Ray Charles helping an old lady cross a street. Add to it, how bored are you people to watch it same set of cars go round and round and round the same damn track for 60 friggin times!!! You aren’t sports fans you are lazy, fat and really worthless. The fans for most of these are kinda specific, glasses, unkempt hair (no not the stylish kinds, more like “why the hell isn’t it put on fire yet crap) F1 is not a sport, not by the stretch of a Unicorn’s imagination.

Indian Football

Really now….1 billion plus people on this very country and we can’t find 11 who kick a ball straight AND run? This piece of puzzle is very….befuddling. How can a country that makes cricketers every 11 minutes not come up with 11 morons who can kick a ball straight and how can Holland (a country the size of Goa) reach the World Cup Finals each year…Holland!! A country known for weed and legalized prostitution. We cheer Brazil for the WC, you ever think that the Brazilians watched us in the Cricket crap-fest World Cup, let me save you the trouble in case you think the rest of the world really cares about us winning the Cricket one….no they don’t!

Why can’t we do a little work and really get a kick in the nads which would enable us to be at least worthy of a spot in the greatest showcase sports event in the world! We lose to UAE….it is the size of MUMBAI!! How can THEY get 11 players who really kick a ball and outrun us? It is downright frustrating and irritating to say the very least. I guess it is since the definition of a sportsman in our country is different… (Read: Zaheer Kahn, Ramesh Powar etc)

Its a bunch of pricks running the sector that is costing us. Useless morons….pick up your socks and kick UAE’s butt on the 23rd and 28th of June! (Yes I know none of you knew that the FIFA WC qualifiers would be starting already, but that is when the first match is on)

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