Salt had no taste!

For starters the movie lasted for 100 minutes but it felt like i could see Angelina Jolie ageing right before my eyes. I kid you not, i feel a tad dumber since i saw the movie, it is like a few of my grey cells have packed up and left! But….on the bright side

I have found the answer to the tagline of the movie:

Q: Who is Salt?
A: She is Jason Bourne after the sex change operation

Angelina Jolie aka Salt makes Lara Croft look like a Girl Scout in this movie, with stunts defying logic and gravity she is the mix between Buffy (Vampire Slayer) and Rambo (without the physique). The movie makes Robocop look like R2D2.

The script is startlingly off-beat. Is she a CIA agent? Is she a Russian agent? Is she a mole of the CIA? Is she a mole of the Russians? Or is she GI Joe’s last resort!! …..who is she? But then I guess the movie lacks that element of keeping the audience entertaining. So the lack of storyline (which in totality is: She needs to find her spider loving husband whilst dodging bullets, bombs, jumping on trucks, climbing building at heights Peter Parker would think twice about and beating up the most powerful secret service agents of the most powerful nations with her bare delicate hands and all the while changing her hair color and looking fashionable as well).

Even Batman would not mess with this one chick! She makes Sunny Deol who fyi uprooted a hand pump and stuck it deep in the rectum of some random extra (i don’t think that was part of the script though) like  a puppy dog who just got its teeth trying to bite into everything.

Of course to her luck, the guys just appear to walk into her fists. It looks like one of the Mario brothers game in which if you manage to jump over the duck it just walks of the cliff and kills itself. Either that or the fact that under the rule of George W Bush even the secret service has become really slow! The hail of bullets, the unbelievable stunts, the disturbing lapse of security for the President, the massacre of the entire FBI, CIA, NSA, parts of Canada, Khalistan, my neighbor’s garden etc etc, all make this a rather disappointing movie to watch. Although she weighs in at 90 odd pounds (She really needs to eat a burger or something), she beats the entire sect of extras without breaking a sweat (and yes, I don’t think she sweats in the movie, must have been too easy).

In the end I am sorry to say that this movie lacks a lot….script, dialogues, story, direction, camerawork, cast, acting skills (not including Angie in this part though, soft spot for her) and a whole bunch more.

So unless you are a die-hard Angelina Jolie fan and can stare at her for 100 minutes straight, I would recommend you to not watch this one. Else……beware, cause i feel you would want Jolie to kill you at the end of this as well.


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Namrata Mehrotra on August 14, 2010 at 12:04 AM

    Highly recommended read..
    This has mre to giv than the movie definitely….!!!


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